Top 5 - Worst Superhero Films

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With Iron Man 2 gearing up to be a big box office hit, we sort the Ken Dolls from the Kick Asses.
  Instead of inspiring a wave of wannabe vigilantes, all these films inspired was the urge to change the channel, showing that unfortunately, in Superhero maths, an awesome character doesn’t always equal an awesome film....

5. Ghost Rider – Flaming hell.

 Nick Cage transforms ‘hard-drinking badass’ Johnny Blaze, into a wry, bumbling-but-deep, lifeless drip. Not even Eva Mendes could stop this one from fading into superhero obscurity.

4. Elektra – The only real casualty was the audience.
 Mythologically speaking, Elektra was the daughter of Agamemnon, and a popular figure in Greek tragedies. Unfortunately, despite reasonable casting and interesting villains, that’s what this film is - a tragedy.

3. Spiderman 3 – ‘With great power, comes great...’ 'Oh will you just shut up already'?
 As if the first two weren’t bad enough, Marvel Studios decided to give us yet another two and a half hours of Peter Parker being a bit of a prick, Harry being a little bit evil, and Mary Jane? Well her hair is yet, another shade of red, (is it THAT hard to find the same hair dye in Hollywood?).

2. The Spirit – Anything but spirited.

 Shocking that anyone would hire Eva Mendes for another hero flick, I know. A star-studded cast and an almost successful attempt at arty, comic book-style shooting don’t quite make up for the ridiculous, cringe-inducing voice-overs and mind-numbingly boring storyline.

1. Superhero Movie – Just...why?

 If you paid to go and see this film then you deserved the hour and a half of bad jokes, terrible acting, and character assassination .Oh, and they’re making a sequel. Seriously, who keeps funding these things?

TOP 5 - Assassin Films

 Who in their right mind doesn’t want to be an assassin? Uber-cool outfits, adrenaline-fuelled gunfire and car chases a-plenty, these five films ignited a longing for black spandex and raised a collective sigh from men all around the world.

5. Smoking Aces – Colourful cast.

 A torture loving mercenary, sexy contract killers, chameleon-style master of disguise and a trio of redneck, neo-Nazi, skinheads race to take out mafia snitch Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel. Damn this guy is popular.

                                                    4. Wanted – Loom of fate?

 Secret assassin guild, ‘The Fraternity’, recruit regular Joe, James McAvoy to help catch the notorious ‘Cross’.... Oh, and they choose their targets with a magic loom. Yes a loom. As weird as it sounds, the coolness factor is saved by bullet bending, Angelina Jolie’s bath scene and peanut butter rat bombs.

                                                   3. Shoot Em Up – Death by carrot.

 Clive Owen’s ‘Mr. Smith’ uncovers a government bone-marrow racket, saves the girl and the baby, and sees anyone in his way off with a little more than their daily recommended dose of Vitamin C. BEST. WEAPON. EVER.

2. Kill Bill 1&2 – Tarantino shows that he has a knack for story telling in this epic two-part revenge saga.

 Hands up if you’ve tried the ‘five point palm exploding heart technique’? Awesome.

1. Pulp Fiction – ‘Bad Motherfucker’.

 Man points are awarded just for mentioning the adrenaline/heart scene. Diner robberies, murders, heroin overdoses, fixed fights, gimp rape, dance competitions and more pop culture references than you can shake a stick at... it’s been a busy day in Los Angeles.