TOP 5 - Assassin Films

 Who in their right mind doesn’t want to be an assassin? Uber-cool outfits, adrenaline-fuelled gunfire and car chases a-plenty, these five films ignited a longing for black spandex and raised a collective sigh from men all around the world.

5. Smoking Aces – Colourful cast.

 A torture loving mercenary, sexy contract killers, chameleon-style master of disguise and a trio of redneck, neo-Nazi, skinheads race to take out mafia snitch Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel. Damn this guy is popular.

                                                    4. Wanted – Loom of fate?

 Secret assassin guild, ‘The Fraternity’, recruit regular Joe, James McAvoy to help catch the notorious ‘Cross’.... Oh, and they choose their targets with a magic loom. Yes a loom. As weird as it sounds, the coolness factor is saved by bullet bending, Angelina Jolie’s bath scene and peanut butter rat bombs.

                                                   3. Shoot Em Up – Death by carrot.

 Clive Owen’s ‘Mr. Smith’ uncovers a government bone-marrow racket, saves the girl and the baby, and sees anyone in his way off with a little more than their daily recommended dose of Vitamin C. BEST. WEAPON. EVER.

2. Kill Bill 1&2 – Tarantino shows that he has a knack for story telling in this epic two-part revenge saga.

 Hands up if you’ve tried the ‘five point palm exploding heart technique’? Awesome.

1. Pulp Fiction – ‘Bad Motherfucker’.

 Man points are awarded just for mentioning the adrenaline/heart scene. Diner robberies, murders, heroin overdoses, fixed fights, gimp rape, dance competitions and more pop culture references than you can shake a stick at... it’s been a busy day in Los Angeles.

Film Review: Gamer

 Welcome to 2034, a not-too-distant future where gamers have given up conventional gaming for the latest craze - mind control. The creator of this revolutionary technology, Ken Castle, (played by Michael Hall), has moulded this profitable hi-tech phenomena to create the ultimate gaming experience.
 First there was 'Society', a creepy real-life versions of 'The Sims' that allowed anybody with enough money and spare time to become anyone, and do anything. The player's perverse actions are played out live by 'actors', who, controlled by nanites in their brain, will dance, jump, rape or party on command.
 Of course, 'Society' was only the beginning. The world is clamouring desperately for a new thrill. This is delivered in form of the latest gaming sensation: 'Slayers', a multi-player war game-come-reality show, (a' la 'Halo'), where death-row inmates battle for freedom under the control of pre-pubescent teen gaming addicts.
 Gerard Butler is on arse-kicking duty as 'Slayer' superstar and killing machine Kable, controlled by self-diagnosed 'bad-ass motherfucker', 17 year old, trust-fund teen Simon, (Logan Lerman). That is, until game hackers and political activists 'Humanz' persuade Simon to 'turn him loose', thus unleashing Kable on a murderous mission to escape the game, find his wife and daughter and uncover the dark truth behind Castle's twisted technology.


Verdict : This film had real promise; with a brilliant plot line and a talented cast I was expecting the next 'Matrix', unfortunately it fails to deliver. After a decent set-up, the ending seems rushed, and following a seemingly fleeting series of nominal events and a relatively quick show-down at Castle's mansion, (complete with a jazzy dance number), Kable overpowers the 'foolproof' mind control technology and defeats Castle, (whilst conveniently broadcasting his deranged confession of world domination to the general public). However, there are some redeeming qualities; a hefty body count, one or two memorable quotes and a few nicely shot game-player-esque sequences make this semi-decent watch. Just don't set your hopes too high.
 
5/10 Cookies.