Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

 

  So here it is. The moment that children and adults, the world over have been waiting for: the beginning of the end. It sounds a bit dramatic, but surely if anything deserves an elaborate introduction, then it would be this; the release of the first part of J.K. Rowling’s final instalment in the story of Harry Potter. The hero of a generation.
  We open in the aftermath of Dumbledore’s death; a morose Minister of Magic talks of these ‘dark times’, while the Dursleys leave for hiding and Hermione tearfully bids goodbye to her parents. The fall of the Ministry into Voldemort’s clutches, and the explosive intrusion of Deatheaters at The Burrow send Harry, Ron and Hermione on the run; smack, bang into the middle of the ultimate war between Good and Evil, in a race against time to find and destroy the remaining Horcruxes.
  Distinctly darker, director David Yates has really taken the term ‘black magic’ to heart; for once, the 12A rating is well and truly deserved. The terror and urgency in the wizarding world is palpable, and the destruction wreaked by the Dark Lord’s minions horrifyingly reminiscent of Nazi Germany. This film is, dare I say it, scary. The drastic change in tone serves to enforce the drastic effects of the plot on the characters. Ron gains confidence in himself, his friendship with Harry, and his relationship with Hermione; Harry and Hermione strip down and sauce-up for a ‘love scene’ (don’t worry it isn’t quite how it sounds); and Draco Malfoy (Tom Felton) shows a surprising reluctance to serve Voldemort and his father.
  Our main trio’s acting has improved (thank God) and the supporting cast is star-studded and thick with talent. Favourites Jason Isaacs, Helena Bonham Carter and Alan Rickman (Lucius Malfoy, Belatrix Lestrange and Severus Snape respectively), are joined by the pirate-esque ‘snatcher’ Scabior (Nick Moran), and Ryhs Ifans in the ‘blink and you’ll miss him’ role of Xenopilius Lovegood.
  Fast-paced (despite the nagging knowledge that there’s worse to come), nothing happens organically as our three musketeers are thrust into progressively darker situations, often only barely managing to escape before encountering the next danger. Allusions to Dumbledore’s past are made, but not yet investigated, and the discovery of the ‘Deathly Hallows’ in the last portion of the film works to not only distract from the inevitable absence of a climax in the first half, but leaves the viewer with the chilling knowledge that Lord Voldemort in now in possession of the most powerful weapon in the world.


Verdict: Visually stunning and a thoroughly faithful adaptation of the book, the penultimate film is the perfect Potter fix, setting the tone for what can only be an utterly magical ending. It’ll keep you on the edge of you seats until the final battle, (Part 2 is set for release, 15th July 2011).

10/10 Cookies

Review: Step Up 3D

  

  The latest instalment in the dance franchise follows Moose and his best friend Camille, as they give up dancing and head to NYU, to focus on getting a good, solid, college education.

 Naturally, hours after their arrival, Moose is pushed into a dance battle, and stumbles into the lap of Hip-Hop hottie, Luke Katcher. Cooler than a cucumber, this closet film-maker and all-around good guy, is also leader of the Pirates, a renegade ‘family’ of poppers, lockers and break-dancers. Apparently all his crew are missing is a curly-haired student and a feisty female. The second of these arrives in the form of Luke’s new crush, Natalie, (a girl suspiciously similar in attitude and style to Step Up 2s Andie). Two new recruits, what luck.

 Unfortunately, despite being the hottest dance crew in town, the Pirates have fallen behind with their mortgage payments. So while Moose struggles to balance friends, school and dancing; the Pirates battle the bank to keep a roof over their heads.

Thank God for ‘World Jam’, a conveniently-timed dance battle that offers our motley band of misfits a chance to win the money, save their warehouse, and defeat rival crew, ‘the Samurai’, in the process. But will they win?

 With enough edge to appeal to both teen and adult audiences, this is a satisfying mix of adrenaline-pumping dance sequences and soft-core soap drama. Following this summer’s release of StreetDance 3D, the Americans show us that they can do it bigger and better, with bold choreography, and genuinely talented dancers. It’s un-inhibited family fun at its best. 

Verdict: If you can look past the predictable plot to director Jon Chu’s brilliant use of 3D dance scenes, then this is one that can rest securely in the ‘guilty pleasure’ pile. Grab the popcorn, sit back, and prepare to Step Up. (Again). 

7/10 Cookies.

Top 5 - Worst Superhero Films

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With Iron Man 2 gearing up to be a big box office hit, we sort the Ken Dolls from the Kick Asses.
  Instead of inspiring a wave of wannabe vigilantes, all these films inspired was the urge to change the channel, showing that unfortunately, in Superhero maths, an awesome character doesn’t always equal an awesome film....

5. Ghost Rider – Flaming hell.

 Nick Cage transforms ‘hard-drinking badass’ Johnny Blaze, into a wry, bumbling-but-deep, lifeless drip. Not even Eva Mendes could stop this one from fading into superhero obscurity.

4. Elektra – The only real casualty was the audience.
 Mythologically speaking, Elektra was the daughter of Agamemnon, and a popular figure in Greek tragedies. Unfortunately, despite reasonable casting and interesting villains, that’s what this film is - a tragedy.

3. Spiderman 3 – ‘With great power, comes great...’ 'Oh will you just shut up already'?
 As if the first two weren’t bad enough, Marvel Studios decided to give us yet another two and a half hours of Peter Parker being a bit of a prick, Harry being a little bit evil, and Mary Jane? Well her hair is yet, another shade of red, (is it THAT hard to find the same hair dye in Hollywood?).

2. The Spirit – Anything but spirited.

 Shocking that anyone would hire Eva Mendes for another hero flick, I know. A star-studded cast and an almost successful attempt at arty, comic book-style shooting don’t quite make up for the ridiculous, cringe-inducing voice-overs and mind-numbingly boring storyline.

1. Superhero Movie – Just...why?

 If you paid to go and see this film then you deserved the hour and a half of bad jokes, terrible acting, and character assassination .Oh, and they’re making a sequel. Seriously, who keeps funding these things?

Film Review: Date Night

  Director Shawn Levy’s attempt to break away from his signature kids films, (‘Night at the Museum’, ‘the Pink Panther’), with a slightly more adult approach to comedy, sees Steve Carell and Tina Fey starring as Phil and Claire Foster; a couple, that amidst a flurry of book clubs, school runs and early nights have lost that spark.
  Scared by the news of a close friends’ divorce, and determined to remain more than just ‘really great roommates’, they decide to inject some spice into their jaded marriage via the great American tradition of ‘date night’, however, ditching the usual routine of potato skins at the local steakhouse, in favour of a table at an up-and-coming restaurant in the city, isn’t as easy as it seems without a reservation. So, living vicariously, they decide to take another couple’s table. The ‘Fosters’ are now the ‘Tripplehorns’, (are you still with me?), but little did our couple know, the Tripplehorn’s delicious crab risotto comes with a side of, wait for it... danger. Sounds cheesy? It is. A classic case of ‘be careful what you wish for’; they wanted excitement, and in great cinematic tradition, boy do they get more than they bargained for.
  As it happens, The Tripplehorns, (the real Tripplehorns, not our nice suburban duo), are petty thieves, petty thieves that stole a flash-drive from crime boss Joe Miletto. And Joe Miletto? He’s pissed. Pissed enough to send a couple of goons to ‘take care of’ the Tripplehorns. And so the fun begins.
  Naturally, Claire’s first reaction is to seek help from an ex client; sexy, debonair, (and eternally topless), ‘security specialist’ Holbrooke Grant, (played by Mark Wahlberg). Holbrooke, whilst delivering an opportunity for Claire to flirt entirely too much, and too brazenly for someone in the company of their husband, manages to track down the real Tripplehorns, (who on earth uses their mobile to make a reservation when they’re hiding out?).
  A night of breaking and entering, shoot-outs, car chases, renegade cops and grand theft auto ensues as the Fosters attempt to reach the Tripplehorns and persuade them to return the flash-drive. They really, REALLY just want to get home.
  Suspended disbelief is a must when watching this film, as Fey and Carell manoeuvre themselves into increasingly ridiculous and entirely unbelievable situations, trying to right the wrong they made by stealing someone else’s reservation, (a fact which no one seems to be able to get over). Is this some kind of Karmic justice gone awry? An over-the-top warning from those in the restaurant business? No. It’s a romantic comedy, (of a kind), often clichéd, and full-to-bursting with stereotypes. This film falls between genres, too crude for children and not quite crude enough to masquerade as a funny ‘guy film’, (think Seth Rogen and Judd Aptow). However, the supporting cast is phenomenal and Carell's role as the loving husband is apparent; the relationship between himself and Fey, believable, and the outlandish and improbable storyline manages to provide an exciting setting for the two to confront and settle their marital issues.

Verdict : Amongst the obvious gags is some witty and genuinely funny, laugh-out-loud dialogue, (not to mention extremely disturbing, but hilarious attempts at erotic dancing - I’m pretty sure students everywhere will be doing the ‘sex robot’). Steve Carell and Tina Fey play ... well, Steve Carell and Tina Fey, but they work well together, their on-screen chemistry translating to a likeable couple who you really will root for, and even if you don’t, it’s worth watching just to see Steve Carell say ‘zip your vagina’ repeatedly.

6/10 Cookies.

Film Review: Repo Men

 ‘For a price, any organ in your body can be replaced. But it can also be repossessed’; enter the repo-men, 2025s answer to debt collectors, but they won’t be taking your TV, or your mum’s favourite glass swan. No, these thuggish legalised killers want to ‘reclaim their property’; and yes, it’s as ominous as it sounds.

 ‘But wait!’ I hear you cry, ‘aren’t you talking about little-known 2008 release ‘Repo! The Genetic Opera’?’ No. This one happens to be called ‘Repo Men’, but you could be forgiven for making that mistake, as they ARE startlingly similar. Maybe Universal Pictures figured that the cult ‘American Rock Opera’, (based on the original stage show), didn’t appeal to a mainstream audience? Or perhaps they just thought that no one would notice. Whatever the reason, we now have two futuristic bio-tech thrillers to enjoy. Of course there are some differences, (the lack of musical numbers and Paris Hilton are probably the biggest two), and THIS film is based on a book; ‘The Repossession Mambo’ by Eric Garcia to be specific.
  A creepy, surreal tale of consumerism gone mad, (bad and dangerous), the story focuses on The Union; a company touting the latest genetic enhancements: artificial organs. Naturally the interest rates of these little beauties are through the roof, and if you fall behind with payments, (which is more than likely) ...well, quite frankly, you’re screwed. And the people screwing you over? The Union’s top repo-men and ex-army badass mo-fos, Remy, (Jude Law), and his best friend Jake, (Forest Whitaker). These two are at the top of their game, until a technical malfunction with a defibrillator during a repo job leaves Remy with a shiny new heart and a shiny new debt to pay, (the stingy gits didn’t even give him an employee discount, how’s that for a health plan?). Suddenly work isn’t as easy as it used to be for Remy; turns out when your ticker is ticking down time till your own repossession, killing people isn’t quite as fun. So he decides to go on the run, meeting Beth, an attractive, drug addled, enhancement-addict on the way. Together they discover that the only way to clear their accounts and get off The Union’s radar for good is to destroy the central office. Oh, and to make matters that much more interesting, who have The Union sent after him? Why it’s his best buddy Jake. Naturally.
  An interesting twist on the usual ‘renegade employee tries to take down the evil corporation’; this film boasts some good leads. Levi Schreiber oozes sleaze as The Union’s slick, soulless, salesman and it’s nice to see Law out of his comfort zone, playing something other than a ‘cheeky-but-loveable womanizer’. Not that the director lets his sex appeal go to waste; surely only Jude Law can make home surgery erotic?
  However, a ridiculously high body count and some rather violent, albeit creative, deaths, leave the viewer wandering if this is just gore for the sake of gore; the bloodshed almost managing to completely override the underlying themes of corruption, obsession, and mislaid trust in what is, effectively, a consumerist society run amuck. In truth, the premise of the film is deeply unsettling, I’m not going to pretend that it wouldn’t be cool to have eyes that change colour with every blink, or ears that you can plug headphones into, but at what cost? In the end it’s really a story of how far Remy is willing to go to save someone he loves and escape the influence of corporate America, and, despite a surprising, if not slightly disappointing ending of what is essentially the futuristic equivalent of ‘and then he woke up’, the film manages to deliver.

Verdict : Clever, ironic commentary on the state of health care, the economy and consumerism in society?.. Or just an excuse to show someone’s head being bashed in with a typewriter, either way it’s worth a watch.

7/10 Cookies.

TOP 5 - Assassin Films

 Who in their right mind doesn’t want to be an assassin? Uber-cool outfits, adrenaline-fuelled gunfire and car chases a-plenty, these five films ignited a longing for black spandex and raised a collective sigh from men all around the world.

5. Smoking Aces – Colourful cast.

 A torture loving mercenary, sexy contract killers, chameleon-style master of disguise and a trio of redneck, neo-Nazi, skinheads race to take out mafia snitch Buddy ‘Aces’ Israel. Damn this guy is popular.

                                                    4. Wanted – Loom of fate?

 Secret assassin guild, ‘The Fraternity’, recruit regular Joe, James McAvoy to help catch the notorious ‘Cross’.... Oh, and they choose their targets with a magic loom. Yes a loom. As weird as it sounds, the coolness factor is saved by bullet bending, Angelina Jolie’s bath scene and peanut butter rat bombs.

                                                   3. Shoot Em Up – Death by carrot.

 Clive Owen’s ‘Mr. Smith’ uncovers a government bone-marrow racket, saves the girl and the baby, and sees anyone in his way off with a little more than their daily recommended dose of Vitamin C. BEST. WEAPON. EVER.

2. Kill Bill 1&2 – Tarantino shows that he has a knack for story telling in this epic two-part revenge saga.

 Hands up if you’ve tried the ‘five point palm exploding heart technique’? Awesome.

1. Pulp Fiction – ‘Bad Motherfucker’.

 Man points are awarded just for mentioning the adrenaline/heart scene. Diner robberies, murders, heroin overdoses, fixed fights, gimp rape, dance competitions and more pop culture references than you can shake a stick at... it’s been a busy day in Los Angeles.

Film Review: Gamer

 Welcome to 2034, a not-too-distant future where gamers have given up conventional gaming for the latest craze - mind control. The creator of this revolutionary technology, Ken Castle, (played by Michael Hall), has moulded this profitable hi-tech phenomena to create the ultimate gaming experience.
 First there was 'Society', a creepy real-life versions of 'The Sims' that allowed anybody with enough money and spare time to become anyone, and do anything. The player's perverse actions are played out live by 'actors', who, controlled by nanites in their brain, will dance, jump, rape or party on command.
 Of course, 'Society' was only the beginning. The world is clamouring desperately for a new thrill. This is delivered in form of the latest gaming sensation: 'Slayers', a multi-player war game-come-reality show, (a' la 'Halo'), where death-row inmates battle for freedom under the control of pre-pubescent teen gaming addicts.
 Gerard Butler is on arse-kicking duty as 'Slayer' superstar and killing machine Kable, controlled by self-diagnosed 'bad-ass motherfucker', 17 year old, trust-fund teen Simon, (Logan Lerman). That is, until game hackers and political activists 'Humanz' persuade Simon to 'turn him loose', thus unleashing Kable on a murderous mission to escape the game, find his wife and daughter and uncover the dark truth behind Castle's twisted technology.


Verdict : This film had real promise; with a brilliant plot line and a talented cast I was expecting the next 'Matrix', unfortunately it fails to deliver. After a decent set-up, the ending seems rushed, and following a seemingly fleeting series of nominal events and a relatively quick show-down at Castle's mansion, (complete with a jazzy dance number), Kable overpowers the 'foolproof' mind control technology and defeats Castle, (whilst conveniently broadcasting his deranged confession of world domination to the general public). However, there are some redeeming qualities; a hefty body count, one or two memorable quotes and a few nicely shot game-player-esque sequences make this semi-decent watch. Just don't set your hopes too high.
 
5/10 Cookies.